Not as funny or as elaborate as the first practical joke post, however, as it involves the same staff members as the first one, I felt this needed to be posted as well (and I still think it’s funny as hell)
So, you may have read about the overnight guy at my old group home. My coworker, Peaches, and I really liked the guy, but he was kind of naive and really earnest. As mentioned in the previous post, the overnight had a number of responsibilities in the home, cooking, cleaning and paperwork, etc… One of his other jobs was to check on the kids once an hour throughout the night. This is not an easy job. I’ve been an overnight guy and it’s amazingly easy to fall asleep and miss your checks. So, to help keep the overnight awake, he needed to call the supervisor’s voicemail and leave a message. The message needed to have the time of the call and report where the residents were (if one was not there, this would be mentioned in each message) and if all was well in the home. We devised a second practical joke; Peaches made it clear to me that if we were going to do this, I’d have to be the one to sell him on it. I agreed. Here’s the set up. Our supervisor was a very very happy lady. She was always quick to laugh and always pleasant. She had a habit of referring to the kids in the house as “little monkeys” and sometimes the staff as well.
When the overnight arrived we calmly went through our full shift change and let him know how the evening had gone and what we needed him to do during the night. As we wrapped up, it was time. I told the overnight that we’d been having problems with out phone lines all day and that we’d been in contact with the phone company and hoped that it would soon be fixed. This was presented to him as as sort of an afterthought and not very important. After not speaking for a minute, pulling out my best Columbo impression, “Oh, there was just one more thing.”
Because of the nature of the work, with kids in the care of Protective Services, we deal with a lot of confidentiality issues. I told the overnight that the phone problems involved crossed wires and the possibility of calls being intercepted by other people. Other people who weren’t bound by all the confidentiality agreements we’d signed. Therefore, he’d need to be very careful when leaving the hourly checks for our supervisor. I suggested that he simply refer to the kids as little monkeys. No, not the greatest joke ever. But… The overnight being the earnest lug that he was, immediately grabbed ahold of this idea and ran with it. “I could be the big monkey.” he said with an enthusiastic grin. Peaches had to leave the room. I don’t know how I kept a straight face. “Sure, that’s a great idea, I hadn’t even thought of that. I was just going to suggest that we not mention the name of the house specifically and…” He interrupted, “We could call it the tree. Like, all the little monkeys are safe in the tree.” My face was like stone. Peaches was in the other room and it sounded like she was choking. “Yeah. That’s a great idea.” He laughed and told me it was kinda like being a spy, all talking in code and shit. I have never, ever, not-laughed so hard in all my life. Peaches had fallen silent. I thought she may have passed out. The overnight began going about his job. Peaches and I sat quietly in the office. After a few minutes she said “I think we’re going to hell.” I was inclined to agree.
Part two is on the way.