Sometimes I’m loud. I have kind of a big voice and a personality to go with it. Most of the time I have it all under control. At school, at times, I’ll bring out what I call my Big Boy voice in order to be heard. I also laugh loud. That one is a lot harder to control, but it’s laughter, so fuck you.
This past Friday I went out with my coworkers for drinks. Many drinks. It was brought to my attention, about a pint into the proceedings, that I was being loud. I assured everyone that this was normal and to be expected, but I added that I would try to keep it down. I also gave everyone instructions to cue me for being loud as I take direction well.
So, many pints and one patio change later, the subject of this blog came up. I was going through the photos on my phone, in search of something that I don’t know what it was, when I came upon the picture I took of Jesus. Yes, that Jesus. The Jesus trying to eye fuck everyone. The picture was passed around and I regaled them with a very witty summary of the blog post. Have I mentioned that not only am I loud when I drink, but I’m fucking hilarious. As I was getting laughs and no one thought to cue me for being loud, I made no efforts to keep it down.
I left the patio to stand several inches away in order to have a smoke (because you can’t smoke on the patio). As I was smoking, I continued to wow and amaze my listeners with smooth story telling. A lovely woman sitting at the next table over, broke from the conversation with her friend and turned towards me. In that moment I knew that, had she been reading my blog, she would have hit the follow button. Sometimes you just know that you’ve gotten through to someone and that you are now on the same page. In the second or so that it took her to turn towards me (leaving, what I’m sure, was a staid and numbing conversation), I knew.
“If I’m going to have to listen to every single thing that you say, you better at least show me the fuck-me-Jesus picture.” This was delivered in an even and calm tone. It was pitched perfectly so that my friends and I could hear it and it was loud enough to cut through whatever bullshit was probably pouring out of my word hole, but not so loud as to embarrass me in front of the whole patio. In that moment I knew what she was saying. This wonderful woman had just told me to shut the fuck up. I loved her in that moment. It was perfect. I may have been told to shut the fuck up, previous to this, but none has every made me want to shut the fuck up. I needed to shut the fuck up. For her.
Of course I showed her the picture. “Wow. He really is trying to fuck everyone.” He boyfriend/husband guy looked at it and laughed louder than anything I had yet produced, so he should probably shut the fuck up too. We chatted some more as a group and she even had us join in on a spirited game of judge-the-guys-trying-to impress-girls. Awesome. I have no idea who she is but there’s a picture of us on her phone and I’m a little in love with her still.
Sometimes in life there are perfect moments. This was one of those.
P.S. The whole night was amazing from start to finish and I need to do that again, soon.